I felt like a failure because I found breastfeeding so painful but visual art helped me make sense of my experience
Mythical mothers, divine mothers and royal mothers. Ancient clay statuettes of pregnant women and contemporary explorations of birth. As an art historian of 20 years, I’ve seen a lot of representations of motherhood. And from Renoir’s wholesome portraits of his wife nursing their son to countless versions of the Madonna and Child, many of these images depicted blissful breastfeeding scenes. A few years ago, with my new baby asleep on my chest and unable to relax into sleep myself, I began obsessively searching for historical fragments of mothering lives – because I felt as if I was failing and needed something to tether myself to.
When I decided to get pregnant, I already knew I wanted to breastfeed. Other parents decide it’s not for them – a decision I respect now more than ever – but it was how I pictured my motherhood. I carried these idealised artistic representations of breastfeeding with me into antenatal classes, where I watched a woman hold a doll to a knitted boob and made notes on the best feeding positions. In these classes, we were never told about formula milk or preparing bottles or about how we might feel if our feeding hopes didn’t go as planned.
Continue reading...from The Guardian https://ift.tt/nsufdGj
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